Toilet humour

One funny thing about working major events is the number of calls that lead you - one way or another - into the toilets.

Now, aside from the obvious joke that the toilet is where you'll find disgusting shit - a call into the porcelain shrines usually provides a few chuckles or at the very least a grin or two. That is of course providing you don't actually have to touch anything, and your sense of smell is tolerable of such places. But it seems that the drunk in particular have a unique affection for these places, and I'm never quite sure if it's the constant need to void the bladder after a few too many beers or the fact that somehow - somehow - they know there's nothing we love more than trying to lift a 130kg man from a pool of his own vomit, urine and... other surprises in a confined and crowded space.

Nine times out of ten you're there for a drunk who has either decided the small benches inside some toilet blocks would provide a better resting site than anywhere else outside, but there's always that other one time that keeps you on your toes and reminds you that this can be an unpleasant place to work.

Treating the drunks is usually easy - make sure there isn't some underlying medical problem, help them outside and watch them go on their way (and by that we mean anywhere but here).
Most of the time they just want to be left alone to go sleep off their little adventure, but sometimes they insist of vomiting on you, despite all efforts to convince them that it isn't in their - or your - best interest.

But every once in a while someone comes along to make your life hard. Maybe they've passed out inside a cubicle (a personal favorite, as there's usually no easy way to get into these urine-soaked domaciles without a high chance of getting yourself 'contaminated' - thankfully this has only happened to me once so far), passing out on the floor or (and I've only heard of this happening once) passing out while standing up at the urinals. Fun. I know this is something I'm only going to see more of now in the service, and it's something I'm dreading even before it's really begun.

For all the perks of this job, sometimes you have to put up with a little toilet humour.