Vomit transfer protocols

I’ve mentioned quite a few cases of dealing with drunks in my short time blogging, but I’m always amazed at the people who feel it’s perfectly normal to put themselves into a state of severe inebriation. Now I’m no saint – I’ve sported more than a few hangovers in my time and, on occasion, put myself into a state of severe inebriation – once following what I’m sure was a reaction to the high preservative levels in extremely cheap wine (I’m allergic to sulphur, of all things…). Thanks go out to Clare for looking after me! (Still sorry…)

I can say however that those events were fairly few and I know for a fact that my days of drinking more than a glass or two are well and truly over. But I’ve noticed some of my friends show a little disappointment in this decision – it’s very Australian to go out to the pub and crawl home.

Working with St John (and also a few bursts of looking after friends at parties) I’ve been abused verbally, had punches thrown at me, had a bag of vomit thrown at me, pulled people out of gardens, been vomited on directly and passively (explanation to follow!). You reach a point where looking after the drunkards makes you realize just how unappealing drinking is – and not just for yourself.

The times I was vomited on directly usually run something like this; security bring someone over who is obviously drunk. They deny being drunk, despite their breath smelling like the bathrooms of Young and Jackson’s Pub following St Patrick’s day and a stupor that would impress a Zen master. After taking their obs they suddenly announce they don’t feel so good, you turn to get an em-bag only to find they project over the bag and onto your uniform. I’m proud to say I have since become the ninja of vomit dodging. Unfortunately, practice made perfect.

The passive vomit stories are the worst though. We get called to a drunk who is passed out in a pool of their own vomit. They are covered in it. A sterna rub or shoulder pinch brings them to (usually angry) but we convince them to sit up. Now we have to walk them over to a post, and the fun begins. We can clean up the vomit off their face and hair, but clothes soak in the stuff – and as we’re sometimes forced to do the old ‘throw your arm around my shoulder’, we get to join in the soaking. Occasionally we’re lucky enough to have waterproof (and hose-clean-capable!) jackets or a scoop and stretcher – but often resources are spread just thin enough to make the shoulder the only quick method of transport. That is passive vomit transfer, and the stink stays for the rest of the duty.

Getting sick and vomiting is only a small part of the problem however – but I’ll save that for next post.

Stay safe.