Not there yet...

I've mentioned it in a previous post, but it feels time to go through it again due to the simple fact that I've re-read some of these posts and have realised how caught up in it all I've been.

Despite my hopes and ambitions - I'm not a Paramedic (yet).

A friend pointed out that a lot of my posts seem to be narrated as if I had reached that goal already, as if - when talking about Paramedics - I'm relating more as a peer than a student (who hasn't even started at that). To me, this is dangerous territory and something I think I should address sooner rather than later - for my own sake if nothing else. I know I'm nowhere near the level of Paramedic, and the things I've seen and done as a First Aider/First Responder are probably trivial events to the average 'ambo'.

My true challenges lie ahead of me, and I cannot afford to let myself think I am prepared for them yet, because it's the Paramedic (or Doctor, Nurse or even Barista for that matter) who is over-confident that makes mistakes, misses details and generally gives the rest of their profession a bad image. I don't want to fall into that category. Ever.

But to address the issue of relating on a personal level as a peer - in a sense this is something I probably won't stop, not due to the fact I feel as qualified as them (which, believe me, I don't) but for the fact that they are just normal every day humans. Yes - even just like you. They're just trying to do what they can - and to that I relate. I (think I) know how it feels to be doing something that is important to someone's life and health, I know how it feels when it's working, when it's not. When it fails. When it doesn't, and the clouds open up, the sun shines through - and I like the sun, it makes me hopeful. Most of all I know how it feels to want to be better, for their sake - then for yours.

I know I'm not there yet... But I will be.